Bubby's - Tribeca

The bathroom at Bubby's continues the eclectic and eccentric decor of the restaurant, but too much attention seems to be focused on kitsch rather than practicality. Case and point - the place is decorated with framed pictures on the pepto-pink walls, lace table cloth on the table next to the sink, and hard water stains in the free standing sink for a very grandma's-bathroom-feel, but the stalls have no trash cans (even when the sign above the toilet states nothing can be thrown in the toilet besides toilet paper, so where is one supposed to throw things?) There was also a terrible lack of toilet paper on the afternoon I was there. But, for some unknown reason, there was a spare roll sitting next to the sink, just a bit out of reach.

• Cleanliness - 3 flushes (it is supposed to feel old so it can't be too clean)
• Aroma - 2.5 flushes
• Pros - plunger, 2 stalls and if there is a really long line, there is a game room down the hall, large mirror, places in the stalls and by the sink to rest your belongings
• Cons - lack of toilet paper in the necessary places, no trash cans in stalls
• Overall experience - 3 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

L'Express

Head straight past the bar to the small, dark hallway on the right and you will find the single men and ladies room at L'Express. Here you may encounter a line, but at least they provide you with reading material and a mirror to amuse yourself with. The bathroom is very dimly lit, and with the dark grey-tiled walls everything is almost indiscernible. Even though this is a 24 hour joint, they still need to fit in a bathroom cleaning every now and again. I went on a Sunday morning for brunch and there was toilet paper surrounding the toilet and paper towels spilled all over the counter. Otherwise, the bathroom was relatively clean and smelled pleasant enough, with a large counter above the sink to hold my belongings, toilet seat covers, and plenty of paper products (albeit, strewn about).

• Cleanliness - 3.5 flushes
• Aroma - 2.5 flushes
• Amenities - large sink, mirror, enjoyable artwork above the toilet, toilet seat covers, industrial pink soap
• Overall experience - 3 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

Mo's Caribbean

The bathrooms at Mo's Caribbean seems a bit out of place in a Caribbean themed bar/restaurant and would make more sense aesthetically at a venue like Southpaw. It was a very nicely decorated with bright tiles and a red sink area, but I could see it becoming a bit disorienting after downing one-to-many shots at the bar. There were three stalls in the ladies room, each with enough space to sit comfortably. Each had a trash can and ample amounts of toilet paper (so much someone decided to decorate the floor of one stall with it). On the wall above the sink area was white industrial soap and a paper towel dispenser.

• Cleanliness - 3 flushes
• Aroma - 3 flushes
• Pros - large room with 3 stalls, 2 mirrors - one above sinks and the other above a convenient shelf along one wall
• Cons - located downstairs - which can be difficult to maneuver while intoxicated, slightly alarming decor
• Overall experience - 3 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

Muldoon's

At Muldoon's in midtown, you'll find two single bathrooms located on the wall directly across from the bar. The women's room has all of the necessities - 2 toilet paper rolls located at a good distance from the toilet, soap dispenser with industrial pink soap, mirror, trash can, and a paper towel dispenser. The bathroom is typically cleanish and large enough for you to comfortably sit and contemplate. The only problem with the bathroom is the location. Since Muldoon's is essentially a long hallway with not much room in between the bathroom wall and the bar, one does not have a slight sense of security - you can certainly hear the people at the bar when in the bathroom, so it only makes sense that they can hear you too. Fortunately, on Wednesday nights they have karaoke at Muldoon's so everyone will be listening to bad renditions of Don't Look Back In Anger rather than listening to you.

• Cleanliness - 3 flushes
• Aroma - 2.5 flushes
• Pros - easily accessible from the bar
• Cons - too easily accessible from the bar
• Overall experience - 3 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

Hooters

In a place where women are treated like objects, you'd think they'd treat their objects to a nice bathroom - one with full length mirrors so the girls can make sure their outfits are exposing the right parts; perhaps one with good lighting so that the girls can apply their makeup to perfection; one maybe with a chair or bench where the girls could take a break. But there are no such amenities in the Hooters bathroom. Hang a right after you come in the front door and follow the "John J. Crapper" signs to the right and you will happen upon the bathrooms. The women's bathroom has a very industrial feeling to it with a kindergarten classroom aesthetic quality - as seen in the primary color tiles on the walls. The sink counter is quite large, but looks like something you would find in an elementary school kitchen, rather than in a bathroom. And under it are boxes of industrial-sized cleaning products and other hazardous materials. There are three stalls, one quite large with a baby changing table in it, two sinks, two soap dispensers (of course with the pink soap), two mirrors, and a paper towel roll.

• Cleanliness - 2.5 flushes
• Aroma - surprisingly it smelled more like cleaning products in here than buffalo wings, 3 flushes
• Pros - large with 3 stalls, each stall has its own trash can, lots of cleaning supplies for really large messes
• Overall experience - 2.5 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)