The Irish Rogue

One would think that a bathroom located at a bar within blocks of Time Square would be the type of place you would not want to spend much time in. However, my bathroom experience at The Irish Rogue, was quite a pleasant one. The bathroom was rather large, with two stalls, enclosed by very large wooden doors. These doors provide the utmost of privacy extending from about 4 inches above the floor to 4 inches from the ceiling. A nice touch in each stall is garbage can, with a foot pedal, so there is no need to dirty your hands. There is one sink, hand soap, and the option of a hand-dryer or some paper towels on the counter. The one downside to the overall experience was having to push down on the handle for the toilet to flush with my entire bodyweight.

• Cleanliness - 2.5 flushes
• Aroma - 2 flushes
• Overall experience - 2 flushes (points take off for unnecessary exertion of energy on toilet flushing)
• Amenities - hand-dryer, paper towels, hand soap, 2 mirrors angled in such a way as to allow you to see your hair from the front and the side at the same time (nice touch)

The Dove Parlor

The bathroom at The Dove Parlor, located just south of Washington Square park, is a cut above the rest (at least those reviewed thus far). The bathroom follows the theme of the rest of the bar, feeling like a Victorian boudoir, with deep red walls, multiple stylized mirrors, and brass fixtures. Yet, this feeling is disrupted by the pointless No Smoking sign over the sink and the plastic paper towel, toilet paper, and soap dispensers hanging from the walls. A nice touch are the swinging parlor doors on each stall. Although should you drink a few too many Silver Foxes, the swinging doors could be a bit of a hazard and the tiny locking mechanisms are can be a little tricky to master.

• Cleanliness - 2 flushes
• Aroma - 2 flushes
• Overall experience - 2 flushes
• Amenities - plentiful amounts of paper towels and toilet paper, multiple mirrors, swinging parlor doors
  

McCaffrey & Burke

For those of you who think that these Upper Eastsiders never leave the island, allow me to introduce you to the bathroom at McCaffrey & Burke, in Astoria, just beneath the 30th Ave. stop on the N. The bathrooms are located in the back of the bar, conveniently placed next to the back door/outdoor smoking area, just in case the line to the bathroom is a bit too long. The bathrooms are quite large; large enough, as a good friend of mine pointed out, to make out with two people at once in. The long sink-area may seem a bit excessive for only one stall and one sink, but you never know when you may desire a little extra space. There is a hand-dryer as well as a supply of paper towels, which offers patrons a nice option. A mirror and antibacterial soap are available by the sink so one can spruce themselves up before returning the bar.

• Cleanliness - 3 flushes
• Aroma - 3 flushes
• Overall experience - 3 flushes
• Amenities - hand-dryer and paper towels, antibacterial hand soap, large "enough" sink area
  

Bar Coastal

Located on the Upper East side is the bathroom at Bar Coastal. While the decor of the bar itself is UES trailer-chic, the bathroom is quite bland with only a solitary patriotic touch of a "United We Stand" poster on the wall. Two toilets in the women's bathroom, a toilet and a urinal in the men's. Each bathroom has one sink and a hand-dryer. Having paper towels placed on the sink would have been a nice touch, but was overlooked. Bar Coastal does make an interesting choice of no mirrors above the sink. Perhaps since the rooms are quite small they figured that by eliminating the mirror you will also eliminate a gathering crowd.

• Cleanliness - 3 flushes
• Aroma - 2 flushes (mainly due to the women's bathroom being next door to the kitchen. The odor of the chicken wings is heavenly)
• Overall experience - 3.5 flushes
• Amenities - hand-dryer
  

Welcome to New York Toilets

Greetings to all. We at New York Toilets are committed to bringing you the most comprehensive review of toilets throughout the city. Because, we all have to go... sometimes, and we should be aware of what is in store for us. To introduce ourselves and this new resource, we thought we'd show you where we are coming from. This toilet belongs to us, for at least the next 2 months to a year. It is located somewhere on the Upper East Side in a pre-war building. This toilet, more or less, functions properly. Good suction, not too noisy. Although its tank does refill for no apparent reason once someone sits down on it. The problem with this toilet is the seat, which was purchased in the clearance section of Bed, Bath and Beyond. It never fit properly and now is broken, so sit on it with care or else you may slide off. The nautical theme is invoked by fake wood veneer.

All toilets will be rated in flushes - 1 being the best and 5 being the worst.

• Cleanliness - 3 flushes
• Aroma - 2 flushes
• Overall experience - 2.5 flushes
• Amenities - shower near by, sink with many guests' towels hanging close to it, 2 out of 4 lights over the sink still working
• Pros - close to home
• Cons - too close to the bedroom, never toilet paper on the roll