Dallas BBQ (East Village)

Be sure to hold onto the railing if you've already downed a Texas-sized pina colada and need to hit the bathroom at the Dallas BBQ in the East Village. Pass the bar, the register, and the kitchen, and on the right you will find a rather steep stairwell down to the bathrooms. The women's room has two stall, one of which is always out of order. The bathroom is rather clean and smells of disinfectant, which I guess is a good thing, considering what it could smell like. The stall, in operation, has a large garbage can in it, and plenty of paper products. There is a long mirror above the sink, as well as a full-length mirror on the opposite wall, excellent for making sure your skirt isn't stuck up into your underwear.

• Cleanliness - 1.5 flushes
• Aroma - 2 flushes (although disinfectant may not smell too bad, you have to wonder what it is covering up)
• Pros - large garbage can in the stall, plenty of paper products, many mirrors
• Cons - only one toilet is ever functioning, steep stairwell leading to bathroom
• Overall experience - 2 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

The Subway Inn

Few brave souls venture into the Subway Inn on 60th and Lex, let alone into the bathroom. But I, like Virgil, will lead you into this nether region known only to a chosen few (those who just can't hold it in till they get home). Located past the dimly lit bar, in the back of the room are the men's and women's bathrooms. Each is a single occupancy room, large enough to cram in possibly 2 people. The women's room is sparsely decorated, with many an interesting message scrawled on the once white walls. The door to the stall barely closes, as does the door to the bathroom itself, but most of the regulars with their heads in their hands drinking bottles of bud at the bar will rarely notice. What the bathroom lacks in privacy, it also lacks in toilet paper and water pressure. But there is a bar of soap over the sink for cleanliness and a poorly lit mirror for those makeup touch ups that no one in the bar will ever notice.

• Cleanliness - 3.5 flushes
  
• Aroma - 3 flushes
• Pros - soap, working facilities, interesting reading material on the walls
  
• Cons - lack of paper products, doors that don't shut, puddles on the floor
  
• Overall experience - 3.5 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

My New Toilet

After a long hiatus, New York Toilets is back. I'm sure all two of you missed me. I'd like to start out again with a toilet I have grown quite fond of. Located somewhere in the West Village, this unisex bathroom is relatively clean. The toilet is conveniently located beneath a frosted window. In front of the window there is a large ledge, where ample amounts of reading material and extra toilet paper reside. The toilet is situated next to the bathtub, "Perfect," my father-in-law says, "in case you want to soak your feet while you are sitting on the toilet." The sink is average, with a mirror above it. There is good light coming both the window and the lights above the mirror. The soap is typically something smelling of honey (since this is what is most often on sale). Unfortunately, there is rarely anywhere to dry your hands, except for on our bath towels (mental note, get hand towels). There is no distinct odor to the bathroom itself, and it is located next to the kitchen, so on rare occasions, when I cook, the bathroom could take on the lovely odor of the evening's meal. The best things about this bathroom is that the door and surrounding walls must be rather thick since you can rarely hear when a person is using the facilities.

• Cleanliness - typically between 1.5 and 2 flushes
• Aroma - 1.5 flushes
• Pros - sweet-smelling soap, reading material, extra toilet paper, plus bathing possibilities
• Cons - only one bathroom in the apartment, so there could be a wait; no where to dry your hands that isn't my towel
• Overall experience - 1.75 flushes