Jeremy's Ale House

Past the lotto machine and around the bend you'll find the bathrooms at Jeremy's Ale House. There are separate mens and ladies rooms hiding out in closet-like crevices back there. The ladies room has barely any room between the toilet and the sink, so the best approach is to sit sideways. The bathroom is always rather clean, I suspect due to very few ladies actually coming into the bar (though it's one of my favorites!). On warm days, the smell of frying seafood permeates through the bathroom door...this is much more pleasant than the stale beer smell on other days. The bathroom doesn't suffer from a lack of toilet paper (also probably due to it being used so infrequently). It does, however, lack a toilet paper holder, a mirror, and has an anemic hand dryer. The mirror can be excused though, since there is a mirrored beer sign just outside the bathroom. My favorite thing about this bathroom is squirt-bottle soap dispenser, always full of the pink industrial strength stuff.

• Cleanliness - 1.5 flushes
  
• Aroma - 2.5 flushes
  
• Pros - plenty of paper products, located in an awesome bar/restaurant
  
• Cons - very small, pretty useless hand dryer, no mirror inside the bathroom
  
• Overall experience - 2 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

The Landmark Tavern

Way out on 11th avenue you'll find the Landmark Tavern. Perhaps because of its way out there location, the bathroom in the establishment is not often used. For me that makes it a great find, since it's warm, clean, and at least when I was there, there was no line. Go past the bar and into the back dining area and on the left you'll see the sign for the ladies room (the men's room is right at the end of the bar on the left side as well...and I appreciate that the ladies room is a bit more secluded than the men's). The bathroom is a single with ample room. A nice touch was the coat hook on the door, so you don't have to desperately try to perch your coat on the knob or search for the least wet spot on the floor to lay it down. When I visited the bathroom there was barely any toilet paper left on the roll, though three extra rolls were left on the back of the toilet. There are three mirrors in the bathroom, with an additional one facing you as you exit the room...a bit excessive for the insecure, but ideal for the vain. A bottle of fragrant Soft Soap was available on the sink and a full paper towel dispenser was located just above the large trash bin. The bathroom smelled quiet fresh and clean, probably due to the Tri-State Scent deodorizer hung on the wall. Overall, a very pleasant experience.

• Cleanliness - 1.5 flushes
  
• Aroma - 1.5 flushes
  
• Pros - single, secure, isolated bathroom, good upkeep, coat hook, plenty of paper products
  
• Cons - hot water was very hot...so watch out
  
• Overall experience - 1.5 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)

And we're back...coming to you from d.b.a.

So, London Toilets didn't catch on, which is why I'm back in New York (well, not exactly). Now that I'm a few years older, as is my bladder, New York Toilets will be bringing to you toilets from all walks of life, coming to you from all boroughs, wherever and whenever there is a public toilet available and in need of rating.

First on the list is d.b.a. in the East Village. The bathrooms are located at the back of the bar on the right in a dark little crevice (in the summer, when you've been sitting in the outside garden sipping your beer in the sunshine, trying to find the bathroom doors in this dark little crevice can be challenging, but in the winter it's manageable). The ladies room is on the right and the men's is on the left. Magically, in a ladies room the size of a standard single bathroom, they have managed to fit two stalls (psst...this means SMALL). Opt for the stall on the right, which is marginally larger and not in the path of the door to the bathroom. However, in either one your knees will probably touch the doors, which are swinging saloon-style doors with dubious locking mechanisms, so if privacy is an issue for you...well, then you're out of luck. There is some great reading material on the walls of either stall. Though small, the bathroom is rather clean with plenty of industrial strength pink hand soap and toilet paper (though my last visit was on a Sunday afternoon, and if memory serves me correctly, I have found myself having to use the tissues I always carry with me on a Saturday night). The hand dryer is a bit anemic, so it would be nice if they could put out paper towels as well...your hair or jeans will have to do for now.

• Cleanliness - 2.5 flushes
  
• Aroma - 3 flushes
  
• Pros - interesting graffiti, full soap dispenser
  
• Cons - may need night vision goggles to find the outer door, no leg room or adequate locks
  
• Overall experience - 3 flushes

Toilet-locator (courtesy of Google maps)