The Patriot

The bathroom at the Patriot is what you would expect in a bar with Merle Haggard on the jukebox, a giant alligator hanging from the ceiling and waitresses pleased to get up on the bar and show you their goods - let's just say, it is there, it is functional, but it is not the type of place you want to stay for any length of time. Not that it does not have all the necessities - 2 toilets (in the ladies room, I never ventured into the men's), a sink, a mirror, hand soap, and paper towels. Of the two stalls, I'd suggest using the one to the right of the door. It is larger and better lit. The one to the left has the door too close to the toilet, so when sitting down you have to balance yourself on the door and in getting up, you better hope your calves are up to the challenge. A plus and a minus is that the bathrooms are located in the back of the bar, flanking the jukebox. The plus is that you can listen to good music while you are doing whatever you are doing. The minus is that since the music is so loud you almost need to shield your ears on the way in and on the way out of the bathroom so as not to wake up with a ringing sound in the morning. The people at the Patriot did, however, try to spice up the decor by hanging Christmas lights from the ceiling.

• Cleanliness - 4 flushes (it is divey, but you know what you are getting yourself in to by coming to a place like this)
• Aroma - 2.5 flushes
• Pros - good tunes to entertain you while you are using the facilities
• Cons - need earplugs on the way in and out, no place to hang your bag or coat
• Overall experience - 3 flushes